Credo
by Ierpier
Summary: Swan Queen FTL AU: Regina is the goddess of Death, Emma is the first to pray to her in centuries.
1. Chapter 1

She still kept fresh flowers at his bedside, even after eighteen years. If even one of the flowers started to wither, Snow would take the little flower, plant it in their garden and nurture it back to health. The palace gardens had grown more beautiful and spanned more ground than they had centuries before. Snow had a way with plants, life seemed to bloom wherever she touched and all that was presumed dead lifted back to life at her fingers. All but her husband.

"Deities, I request permission to plead for your help. Fathers and mothers that formed structure from chaos, that drew us from ashes and painted us to humans, with powers to transcend that of tools or magic, I plead for your mercy, that you may grant me this favor." Snow traced her husband's face blindly, but her eyes were closed as she nearly whispered the prayers into the sky.

Emma had grown up with her mother's prayers. Every evening just before sundown she would sit next to her mother, watching her touch the face of the man that was her father. She had never even known if his eyes were green like hers, had never known the sound of his voice. All she knew was that her mother had never loved anyone but him and had waited for him for eighteen years, had searched for a way to wake him up, until the only hope that remained were the gods that had long since gone forgotten by most. Emma held her mother's hand as she watched the peaceful face of her father. She had asked her mother how he had ended up in this eternal sleep, but her mother had avoided the question. Emma had been angry at her for a long time, but finally understood that the memory was just too painful for Snow to live though again, so Emma let it go.

Snow silently finished her prayers, leaning forward as ever to softly push her lips against her husband's. Emma had been told many stories about her parents and their true love and as a child thought that waking her father up would just be a matter of making her mother kiss him. The all-compassing belief that she had had in true love had been shattered within in instant and every time Snow tried, and failed, to kiss her husband awake, it chipped away another piece of her faith. Her mother didn't know and Emma didn't tell, but sometimes she wondered if it wouldn't be better if they could just forget about him. Part of her had already accepted she would never know her father.

"Who did you pray to today?" Emma asked softly. Her mother found another deity to pray to at least once a month, hoping that this one would listen. She had prayed to the greatest beings in the universe to the tiniest little gods that no one believed in. Sometimes Emma wondered if her mother made them up just to light a spark of hope in both their hearts. It didn't matter in the end, because no god ever listened.  
Snow sighed and treaded through her daughters thick, blonde locks with her fingers. "Every one of them." She whispered, looking into her daughters eyes and pulling the girl towards her in a firm hug. "I prayed to every single one of them for you not to be without a father on your birthday." She could hear the emotion in her mother's voice, the desperation and overwhelming sadness about her daughter growing up without a father.  
"It's okay." Emma whispered, glancing at her father and sighing into her mother's neck.  
"It's not okay Emma. You're turning eighteen in a few hours and you've not once spoken to him." Snow answered, swallowing thickly. "You've never even …" She sighed, never finishing her sentence, instead focusing her gaze on her husband, stroking her daughter's back.

"Mom…" Emma asked slowly, feeling rather than seeing her mother's nod against her. "Nan told me about the ancient gods; the ones that first forged the world from the chaos of the universe. She told me a story about a goddess that was created as the last of the primal gods; the goddess of death. Is … is that a true story?"

Snow pulled back and gazed in her daughter's eyes, tracing the tips of her fingers over her daughter's brow. Her eyes were startlingly similar to those of the man lying in the bed next to them. She smiled and decided that her daughter was old enough to hear the story of creation that was usually kept from younger children.  
"Yes, it is true, to those that believe in the gods at least. In the beginning there was no death, there was only life that lasted for eternity. It was a paradise where time didn't matter and love was never lost. But after a hundred suns had passed, a new goddess was born and she cursed the land. The stars went out, flowers withered, the lakes dried up and all humanity was to meet its end, It was only thanks to the powers of the other deities that the curse was halted, but it could never be lifted fully: diseases and death remained and have been part of our land ever since."

"So it's her fault that father is sick?" Emma inquired after some thought, a strange feeling of anger combined with hope filling her. "If she brought diseases she can also lift them, right? Just like the god of light also takes back his gift every night? She can take back death and disease, right? Maybe if we ask?" She grabbed her mother's hands and gazed into her eyes, willing her mother to understand.  
Snow smiled softly at her daughter, amazed by the hope that her daughter seemed to be able to hold on to. But she had met disease and death often enough to know that there was no mercy in the heart of Death.  
"I don't think she'll answer dear. Other gods want to help us, but she just wants to hurt people. She doesn't have a heart."  
"But you don't know her." whispers Emma. "Maybe she'll regret what she's done after we show her. Maybe she wants to make things right."  
Snow shook her head, framing her daughter's face between her hands. "Emma, she won't listen to you. She is called 'the Evil Queen' in the ancient text for a reason. She had never listened and she never will."  
"And your gods have listened so well before." Emma snapped, shaking herself free of her mother's grasp. Snow flinched at the sudden anger on her daughter's normally gentle features. Emma caught her mother's eyes and a sharp pang of guilt shot though her, but she had had enough of it. Whatever Emma suggested: fairy magic, strange men with potions, recipes from far off lands, Snow insisted on praying to the gods, putting her faith in the deities that hadn't listened to her for eighteen years.

Perhaps the only godess her mother hadn't prayed to yet would listen to her.

* * *

She stared out of the window, gazing out over the giant garden that she had seen grow over the years. She nervously fidgeted with the necklace around her neck and closed her eyes, she couldn't remember the words her mother used to pray to the gods, but figured that it didn't matter, as none had ever listened to it anyway. Instead she mouthed the only words she could come up with: the truth.

"Goddess… of Death. I guess. I'm not really sure how this is supposed to work … But, I have a favor to ask of you. My father is very ill and no human or god will come to help him. Today is my birthday and I plead … No I wish that he would wake up, because … I want to know him. Please, please give him back to us."

"Give him back?" Emma turned around at the sudden voice behind her, and standing in front of her was a woman that took her breath away in an instant. She was not much taller than her physically, but radiated so much power that she seemed to tower over her anyway. Instead of the innocent doll-dresses that Emma usually wore, she was clad in a slim fitted black dress that accentuated every curve of her body. Her dark hair cascaded over her shoulders in gentle waves and her eyes were dark as night, what stood out most, however, was the look painted on her face: she looked puzzled but also intrigued by the blonde who had prayed to her. Slowly the goddess walked towards the mortal, but halted just before touching her. "What makes you think I'm able to do that?" She asked, her soft, amazed tone nothing like the voice Emma had expected the goddess of death to speak with.


	2. Chapter 2

All reason, thoughts and explanations left Emma's mind at the sight of the goddess standing in the center of her room. The last soft rays of sunlight seemingly avoiding her painted her off as a dark silhouette against the pastel colored bedroom. Emma stood frozen in place, she hadn't expected the goddess to actually answer her prayer and least of all a house-call. She tried to formulate a coherent thought, to remember what she had told her mother and herself just seconds earlier.

After pacing around the room, carefully avoiding touching anything, the Queen turned back to face Emma. She had been intrigued by the boldness of the young princess, but the quiet girl facing her was quite the disappointment.

"You are the first to pray to me in centuries, and you ask me to restore life to someone. You do know who you're dealing with, do you?" She turned around and faced Emma again, a frown painted on her face. "You know what I'm called. What makes you think I can save your father?"  
Emma realized that the goddess was waiting for an answer and quickly regained her posture. She thought of the lessons her mother thought her, straightened her back lifted her chin up in the air and tried to look just a fraction as imposing and grand as the queen.

Her voice failed her, nervously shaking as she answered.  
"The old scriptures say that all that was given by the gods was a gift and that it is also theirs to take back. It is written that you gave the world diseases and death, so it follows you can also take them back." She uttered with as much confidence and wisdom she could muster. She had never been particularly interested in the ancient texts, but her mother taught her about the gods a lot and some of it actually stuck.  
The Queen chuckled and took a step towards her. Canting her head slightly to get a better look at the young princess. "You are an intelligent girl." She murmured. For a second the Queen raised her hand to stroke the girls cheek in a sign of strange affection, but she pulled back before even coming near the rosy cheeks. In her eyes Emma a flash of something that was completely human and was taken aback by it for a second, but then the queen seemed to regain control of herself and followed her warm praise by a cold, firm statement. The emotion and wonder that had been before nowhere to be found in her voice.  
"But you shouldn't believe everything you read."

"So… It's not true?" Emma whispered. "You can't take your gifts back?"  
The Queen raised a perfectly crooked eyebrow at the princesses question, getting more intrigued by the girl every second. "You see death and destruction as a gift?"  
"Well… No. But I mean, that's how it's said in the texts and …" Emma quickly amended, half expecting the fury she had anticipated from 'The Evil Queen' to rain down upon her any second. Instead she saw another flash of humanity in the woman's eyes: something that looked very much like a shade of sadness, maybe disappointment.  
"Oh. I see." The Queen answered, turning around and walking towards Emma's bed. Above her bed was the old glass unicorn mobile. The Queen stretched out her hand towards it, but the blue figures shied away from her touch. She flinched almost unperceivably at the movement and watched the books standing next to Emma's bed. Undoubtedly there would be books about her. She wondered what they told about her, how they called her, how they despised her.

"I mean. I didn't meant to offend you. I know you must have your reasons and they're probably good ones and I'm not asking for you to like … I don't know. Abolish death or something because that wouldn't be practical and so. I know people hate death but I think there is a reason for it generally." Emma rambled on, shuffling nervously and staring insistently at a plucky star on her carpet. "But I Just …" Suddenly a wave of cold washed over her and when she looked up the Queen was standing closer to her than ever before. Her mouth was opened slightly in amazement and humanity shone brightly in her eyes.  
"Thank you." She breathed. She knew it wasn't much, but after being despised by everyone in humanity for years and gone completely ignored afterwards for centuries, seeing someone believe in her, telling her that she wasn't all evil, struck a chord in her blackened heart. Emma was taken aback by the sudden admission, but was determined to finish her plead.  
"I just really want to be with my father on my birthday." She whispered, glancing up again at the goddess. "And preferably after that too." She added with a slightly cocky smile. She had heard the stories of wishes that went wrong and decided that she would do this right. "Can you give me that?"

"I… I might be able to." The goddess finally answered, tearing her gaze away from the beautiful girl in front of her. "I could do it before, but… I don't know if I can still do it." She finally admitted, staring into the green, hopeful eyes.  
"Why wouldn't you be able to?" Emma asked, finding herself longing for the stories told to her in the voice of the goddess. She had read stories about every god in the universe and had all found them equally boring, but about this woman she knew nothing. Nothing other than that she was death and death was evil. Turned out death was a woman with humanity in her eyes.  
"I guess people just stopped believing in me." The Queen answered softly, forcing herself to smile at Emma and walking towards the door. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a second. "Let's see what we can do."

* * *

It was like the Queen instinctively knew where to go, finding her ways though the hallways with a grace that Emma would never be able to master, not even around her own castle. Whereas Emma couldn't keep her eyes off the Queen while they strode through the hallways to her father's room, the servants and knights around the castle didn't even acknowledge her.  
"They can't see me." Regina stated after they had passed the fifth guard that cheerily greeted Emma. "They don't believe." She added coldly, glaring at one of the guards with a look that was more like 'The Evil Queen' than Emma had seen her before. She briefly wondered if perhaps the stories about the goddess were true after all and she was just being lured into a trap.

"We're here." Emma murmured, gesturing towards the door that was slightly opened. Emma slowly pushed open the door, but the room was empty apart from her father. The flowers next to his bed had gone, leading Emma to believe that her mother was out in the gardens gathering new ones.  
"He's here." Emma stated, gesturing towards her father as if there were any other comatose fathers lying in the room. The goddess, however, didn't react to her obvious statement and slowly entered the room.

She hadn't taken two steps in before she froze, her eyes locking upon the face of the sleeping man. Her mouth fell open, before she clenched her fists and jaw in succession. Her previously soft, gentle posture went rigid and suddenly she seemed every bit the Evil Queen she was hailed to be.  
"I'm sorry, I can't help you." She snapped at Emma, turning around on her heels and avoiding the blonde's eyes.  
"What? You said that you-"

"Emma get away from her!" Her mother's voice startled both goddess and mortal. Snow was standing in the doorway, her hands firmly clenched around a bouquet of roses, daffodils and a dozen other flowers. The look in the normally gentle eyes was one Emma had never seen before; burning with fire and rage. "And you get away from him!" She shrieked, running past the woman and putting herself between her husband and the goddess, her eyes never leaving the black figure.

The goddess scoffed, her eyes narrowing. "It will be my pleasure." She said before disappearing in a dark smoke, leaving Emma and her mother alone with the misery she had left behind.


	3. Chapter 3

Mother and daughter were left standing in the cold tower room. Their breaths swirled visible in the usually warm air that had turned chilly at the rage of the goddess. Neither spoke a word until the large mirror in the room cracked and then shattered with a spectacular crush, sending splinters of glass flying around the room, boring in their hands with small stings that woke them up from their stupor.  
"Emma, are you okay? She didn't touch you did she?" Snow breathed out, striding towards her daughter and running her hands over her daughters hands. The girl was taller than her, having outgrown her over a year ago, but once again Snow saw how young her daughter still was. Just a young girl who had another one of her dreams shattered. Snow tried to protect her, but despair always wormed it's way back into her life somehow. "Emma." She urged softly when her daughter failed to respond.  
"She's gone." Emma said, turning towards her mother for the first time since the goddess had disappeared from the room. "She was going to help, but you told her to go away." Emma gasped, her eyes focusing on her mother's, a slow burning anger making its way through her veins. "She was the only one that ever answered your- our prayers and you sent her away."

"Sweetheart…" Snow knew the despair all too well, the anger at the fire of hope that would flare up brightly, only to be put out at the slightest drop of water, leaving only a slumbering disdain behind. "She couldn't help us. She told you herself, remember."  
"She was lying. I don't know why, but she was." Emma said stubbornly. She couldn't tell if she had really been able to tell if the woman spoke the truth, or if it was just her desperation speaking, but she didn't care. "If you had just given me a chance to talk to her…"  
"She wouldn't have done it, Emma, even if she could. You know what she is called…"  
Emma turned around is frustration and kicked away a piece of mirror. "Yeah 'The Evil Queen', 'The Goddess of death…" She paused, letting the words filter through her find as if she was trying to figure them out. Then she turned back towards her mother. "Well I don't believe that. I've seen her, I've seen humanity in her eyes, emotion!"  
"Humanity and emotion don't mean anything, Emma. They are the things that made us do bad things." Snow answered, taking her daughters hands and leading her to her father's bedside. She put her daughter's hand over her father's chest, letting her feel the heart still beating after all those years. "It's what made her do this, Emma. Humanity and emotion is why you don't know your father."  
"Did she do this?" Emma asked slowly, tracing her fingertips over her father's eyelids. As a child she used to go to her father's room every evening to tell him about her day. Age had taken away the habit and she didn't go to the tower often anymore. It made her weary, being face to face with the pain of the world. "Did she curse him?"  
"She is the goddess of death, sweetheart, she cursed everyone." Snow said on a whisper, taking her gaze away from her husband to look into her daughter's eyes. Emma nodded slowly, but when she brought her eyes up to her mother's eyes there was something different. Something that shouldn't be there: Pity. Pity for the woman that had cursed the world.

Emma knew there was something her mother wasn't telling her.

* * *

She prayed again to the goddess that night.  
She didn't get an answer.

But Emma had never been a girl to give up easily, It was a feat that was both prized and scolded, so she decided that she would do the same thing her mother had been doing for the past eighteen years: pray until you get an answer. So she prayed every minute she could find the time. Sometimes the prayers were long: stories about her father and how she could hear her mother crying in his room sometimes. Sometimes they were short: just calling for the Queen in her head while saddling her horse or gripping the hilt of her sword. She prayed until she couldn't.

After nearly a week had passed, her prayers got answered. She was sitting on her bed, dressed in a lilac sleeping gown and gazed out of her window. She could have tried wishing upon the blue star that was clearly visible that day, but had instead opted for the Evil Queen again. It was arrogant, but sometimes she thought of the goddess as her personal guardian angel. She scoffed at herself at the thought: the queen of death as her guardian angel, maybe she was really going mad.

"You're persistent, I have to give you that." She startled at the sudden snappy voice behind her. She had only heard the voice once before, but immediately knew who it belonged to. There was only one person who spoke to her that way, who didn't treat her as the princess that should be pitied. She suppressed a smile and reminded herself why she had desperately called upon the Queen: she had questions and wanted answers, simple enough. She straightened her shoulders and cleared her throat, covering up her insecurity about being in the presence of the goddess.  
"Well, you wouldn't listen to me. And I am not about to let you go yet." Emma declared, mildly satisfied with the way the words left her mouth. The Queen scrunched up her nose, but the corners of her mouth lifted almost unperceivably.  
"That much is clear. Your cries for help were rather … aggravating."  
"I try my best." Emma shot back, getting more accustomed to the presence of the goddess every minute. She crossed her arms in front of her and kept her eyes firmly locked with the Queen. The latter pursed her lips and let her eyes travel over the rather short, nearly translucent gown that the princess wore. Emma felt a blush creep up her neck, but tried to refrain from covering herself up.

"However; I already told you, I can't help you." The Queen drawled, shrugging with a lack of interest in the fate of the former prince. Her eyes kept travelling over the blonde's body, locking in on a circular pendant the princess wore around her neck. She cocked her head, stepping in slightly to get a better look at the pendant. She stretched out her hand and traced her fingers over the silver chain the pendant – a ring it turned out – was attached to. Emma felt the cold dread radiating from the woman's hand. It made her heart stutter, like it struggled to keep beating. The woman's face closed in upon her, her breath washing over her lips as she brought the pendant up to her face. Her lips cracked with the cold as the woman's breath washed over it. Emma's entire existence froze in place. Time froze for a few long seconds, before the queen let the necklace drop down and stepped away from Emma, warmth flowing back to where she had previously been. The Queen took a slightly stuttering breath and seemed to regain her composure. "I can't restore his life." She breathed again, more to herself than to Emma, it seemed. Emma's eyes remained frozen in place, not able to look away from the eyes of the Queen that were so full of emotion that it made Emma's heart stutter again, only this time it was not from the cold.

"I don't believe that." Emma whispered slowly. She couldn't tell if the goddess of telling the truth, but her heart believed that the goddess of death could restore life It was desperation, Emma knew, but it was true. "You're just choosing not to."  
The Queen remained silent, confirming nor denying Emma's statement. The princess closed her eyes, balled her fists and mustered her courage. She was afraid to ask the question, afraid that there wouldn't be an answer to her question, that there wouldn't be a reason. But she needed to know, to ask.  
"Did you do it? I mean, did you do it on purpose? Did you curse my father?"

She could have lied, could have said that death and disease were part of life and that it wasn't for her to decide upon whom the curse fell. But Emma wouldn't have believed her, and the notion of the young girl losing faith in her awoke something she hadn't felt in a very long time: fear. Fear of losing the only person that had shown any faith in her in centuries. The only person that believed she was actually capable of something other than dread and misery.

She wouldn't lose that to another sin, so she did the only thing she could think of.  
She told the truth.

"Yes." She whispered. "Yes, I cursed him."

* * *

**Thanks for your kind reviews, favorites and follows ^.^ I'm glad you are all enjoying this story.  
I apologise for the crappy English at times, it's not my first language but I try my best =).  
**


	4. Chapter 4

Emma couldn't help but flinch at the words that confirmed what she had already suspected. This woman, this tantalizing goddess ,was responsible for her growing up without a father. She was responsible for the nights she spent crying because she wanted to know her father so badly and could never understand why he wouldn't wake up for them. Responsible for the look of misery that appeared in her mother's eyes when she thought Emma wasn't looking. Her mother had tried, but growing up right next to the looming absence of her father hadn't always been easy. And it had all been this woman's fault. Emma didn't care that she was the goddess of death, all she saw now was the woman that had taken away her happy ending before she had even been born. She felt anger burn through her veins, but tampered the fire and instead stared at the goddess. "Why?" She clipped at the woman. "Why did you do it?"

As the princesses walls went up, so did the Queen's. The humanity that had been so apparent in her dark eyes vanished and the magnificent and untouchable goddess took the place of the woman that spoke in whispers to the princess. Apparently Emma had decided for her to be the Evil Queen after all, so that was who she would be.  
"Why? Do I need a reason? She said haughtily, only a slight tremble in her voice betraying the meaning hidden behind her words.  
Emma crossed her arms in front of her and kept her eyes firmly locked with the Queen's. "Yes, you do. If there's one thing I've learned it's that there is always a reason to hurt someone, twisted as it might be at times."  
The Queen pursed her lips, staying silent as she eyed the blonde for a long while. She could still see the fire and anger in the young girl's eyes, but she had apparently decided to hear the goddess out. IT was something new for the goddess, someone being interested in her reasons rather than outright condemn her actions. "Fine." She finally snapped, gesturing for Emma to sit down at her bed and walking to the other side of the room, as far away from the girl as possible.

"It was a punishment-" The goddess started, keeping her eyes fixated on the mirror on Emma's wall. She could see the princess behind her, already opening her mouth to ask questions. "Not for your father. I have no idea if he was a good man for not, be he certainly wasn't the one that deserved to be punished in such a … personal matter." She frowned at her own words for a second, shaking her head and continuing the tale. "It was your mother who was punished." She turned around at her statement to gauge the reaction of the princess. She saw exactly what she had expected: surprise that the _perfect_ Snow White could do something that warranted punishment by the gods.  
"What did she do?" Emma asked the obvious question, earning a small smirk from the goddess.  
Emma didn't see the pain that accompanied it in the woman's eyes.

"She betrayed the gods and was punished for it." The Queen answered vaguely. Emma scoffed and stood up from the bed.  
"You can't possibly expect me to be content with that answer." The princess challenged and the goddess raised her eyebrows at the challenge.  
"Or you'll do what? Need I remind you I am the goddess of death? The Evil Queen? You can't possibly hurt me. In fact, I can end your life with the flick of my wrist if I desire so." The Queen mocked, crossing her eyes in front of her chest in reflection of the princess, unconsciously taking on a defense stance in her attack.  
Emma rolled her eyes and scoffed again. "This isn't about who can kill who because we both know you won't kill me.-"  
"Won't I?" The Queen challenged mockingly, raising up her hand as if to threaten. Emma stared at the hand unfazed.  
"No you won't, because I am the only one who believes in you, and like it or not lady, without me you _don't exist_." She smirked at the shocked look that fell over the goddess's face. "But like I said, this isn't about that. This is about your owing me an explanation. I grew up without a father and I want to know why and I want to know more than 'Snow White pissed off the gods' because that is a shit answer and you know it."

The Queen couldn't find words to answer the princess, so instead contented herself with taking in the fire that was still burning in the girl's eyes. When she had been all soft mouthed and understanding, she had awoken something in the goddess, but now that she was challenging her in this way, it ignited a fire inside her that hadn't been there for centuries. For the first time in an era, the Queen felt alive.  
"Fine." She finally spat out, closing in on the princess until she could have touched her if she had just lifted her hands, while also carefully making sure that could never happen. For all her threats, Emma was right, she had no intention of killing the only person that made her feel like she actually existed. "But you might not like what you hear."  
Emma didn't answer, crossed her arms in front of her and silently motioned her to bring it on.

"Once upon a time, a god was born out of stardust and magic. He had powers that outranked all that was known in the universe, but he got weary without a home, so he build a world for himself and settled on the lush, magical lands. It was a good place without death and disease, but paradise wasn't enough, because he didn't have anyone to share it with. So he created the animals, but the animals couldn't see or understand him. Then the created the human and allowed them to inhabit his lands, the humans were virtuous at first, but finally forgot the god, losing the ability to see him. The god grew lonely again. So he started searching the land for a woman to be his companion, and he did. He fell in love with a human woman and took away her up to the heavens to be his wife. They loved each other very much, and out of their love a life was created: a little girl. Sadly her mother, even though she was granted immortality from old age, was at heart still human and died giving birth to the child that bore too much power for her. After this event, the First God whom we call the king fell into a deep depression and it was winter for seven months. It is not in the nature of gods to be called by a name, but the little girl soon became known as 'Snow'."  
"Wait-" Emma stuttered, her mind reeling at what the Queen could possibly be telling her. She stumbled back to her bed, desperately trying to filter what was just a story and what was true. Surely there were more people in the world that were named 'Snow' or something equivalent. It was too much to process, but the goddess just continued.  
"The king proceeded to raise his daughter without a mother, until she was ten years old. It was then, at the urging of his daughter, that he set out to find a new wife. He knew he would never love her the way he loved his first wife, but hoped that she could be somewhat of a mother to his precious daughter Snow. He found her in another mortal woman and took away her mortality. But the king was afraid that the fate that had befallen is first wife would also tread itself upon his new one, so he decided to take away her humanity too and shape her into a goddess too." The Queen stared at her reflection in the mirror, barely remembering the humanity that had once been in those stone cold eyes. She couldn't remember the feeling of her heart beating, the feeling of being touched. It was a story more than it was a memory, a tale that might as well be a lie.  
"The King continued to rule over the lands, but failed to notice the one flaw in his creation: the humans started families; they lived and loved, but they didn't die. Soon the crops were not enough to feed the humans, the trees were not enough to keep them warm and the land was not big enough to house the generations upon generations of humans. The humans begged for an solution to their ever growing numbers, but the king wouldn't listen. So I listened instead and they crowned me 'The goddess of death."

She didn't smile and only a small lift of the corners of her mouth showed that it was a somewhat pleasant memory. "It was a praise at first. It was later that the title got the connotations it has right now, and I certainly wasn't called 'The Evil Queen'." She clarified with a slight scoff her newest title. Emma was still staring at her wide eyed, almost like her brain had just short wired from the amount of information.  
"But that's not what you wanted to know. You wanted to know about your mother's sin and punishment. Well Snow apparently inherited the tendency to fall in love with mortals from her father and fell in love with a young prince on her twentieth' year. Snow's father had passed away at the time, leaving her as the Queen and Goddess of life. Snow, however, relinquished her honor and duty to follow 'true love'. Her father had trusted her with the task of life, but she hadn't even ruled for half a century before she gave up her immortality for a mortal man. She was the goddess of life and when she left, life started to crumble away. All would have died if the other gods and goddesses had not stepped in to hold away such a fate. After the destruction was averted, it was decided that Snow should be condemned to the same fate she had nearly bestowed upon all of humanity: death and disease."

Emma grasped for anything to hold on to as her mind reeled at the information. Her mother had been a goddess, her mother had nearly caused the destruction of humanity, her father had been cursed for her mother's actions, _her mother had been a goddess._ She thought she might faint, but willed herself to stay conscious, willed herself to remember everything, every word, so that she could ask her mother if it were true.

"That's the story. Do what you like with it." The Queen clipped, already walking towards the window to take her leave. Emma stood up shakily to follow the Queen to the window.  
"You can't restore his life?" She asked, a small sliver of hope still inside her. The queen turned around and shook her head firmly.  
"It is the will of the gods for her to suffer, Emma, I could not restore his life even if I wanted to." There was no hesitation in her voice, but Emma saw a slight flicker of remorse in her eyes, perhaps some pity too, before she firmly turned around and walked towards the window.

"Wait." Emma said. She didn't want to queen to leave, but also knew she couldn't stop her from doing so, so decided that she needed an answer to one last question. A simple question that held more importance to her than she cared to admit.  
"What should I call you?"  
The queen raised her eyebrows, surprised by the question. She had had worn many monikers over the years and couldn't fathom why the princess would want to add another one to the list. "I'm sure there's a lot of names for me in your books, Emma, but you can call me 'your majesty'."  
Emma scoffed. "That's what they call my mother. Besides, isn't that because they call you the 'Evil Queen?' I'm not going to call you that."  
The goddess couldn't help but chuckle at her words, but they also warmed something inside her. She cocked her head as Emma's forehead crinkled in thought, before a smile broke out on her face.

"I'm going to call you Regina. It's Latin for Queen, so I'll still call you 'Queen' without being reminded my mother." Emma declared with a proud smile and the goddess couldn't help but return it. It felt odd, having a real name again, it reminded her of the time she used to be mortal. She had long since forgotten the name she had worn in those times, but it made her feel like she mattered, like someone cared. Like she was loved.

"Regina." She whispered and nodded slightly. "Okay. I could get used to that."

She felt a small tear trickle down her cheek and tasted the salt on her lips before she even knew she had shed it. It tasted salty, it tasted like humanity, it tasted like a memory.

"Regina." She whispered again to herself, before disappearing from the tower without making another sound.

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**I didn't beta this chapter yet, but I hope it's readable. I was really exicted -and nervous- about this chapter and I hope you liked it. Please fav, follow and of course review =) **


	5. Chapter 5

"You have to push your heels down more into the stirrups." Emma startled at the sudden sound behind her and automatically drew in the reins slightly, slowing her horse down from a gentle trot to a placid walk. The white steed Samson threw up his head in annoyance once, but further obeyed it's rider without question.  
"That way when he bolts, you won't fall off as easily." Regina explained with a small smile, looking at the horse with a fondness that she didn't express about most people. Emma easily maneuvered the horse towards her and halted him, but as she reached the goddess, Regina backed away slightly.  
"Wouldn't want to spook him. He can't see me, but I'm pretty sure he can sense me." Regina explained with a sad smile as she watched the horse's ears twitch nervously in her presence. She wanted to pet the animal in some kind of remnant of an ancient urge but suppressed it. She always had the be weary, she had learned that lesson the hard way and there was no way she would ever forget it.  
"Oh well uhm, thank you." Emma smiled awkwardly at her and found herself giggling inwardly at her own reply. Samson tensed and started turning nervously. He was a good, loyal horse, but was also quite a nervous and sensitive animal. Emma let go of the reins slightly and allowed him to walk off slowly.  
"Sorry he gets nervous." She said sheepishly while giving a pat on the horse's neck. The animal visibly relaxed the further away they got from the goddess, but Emma was determined not to get to fat away from the woman and halted him in the middle of the paddock, preparing to lift herself from the saddle.  
"Oh no please don't, I like to see you ride." Regina smiled and Emma couldn't help but blush. It was hardly a compliment, but it still filled her with a sense of pride. It was something about the goddess that made Emma want to impress her. Maybe it was because she was so absolutely out of reach, maybe it was because she was one of the few people that didn't revere her by definition already because she was 'the princess'. This woman was a Queen.

"You like horses?" Emma asked, prompting the horse to trot at a gentle pace. The horse moved with ease and listened to Emma's every command, always listening and working hard for his master. Regina watched it with fondness, missing the feeling of the animal underneath her, missing the warmth and companionship that she had once found there.  
"Yes I quite do. I used to ride a lot back in the days." She usually avoided mentioning the times of her humanity, not only because she didn't remember much of them, but also because what she remembered hurt too much to go through again. "I had a beautiful brown mare named Rocinante, I used to sneak off and ride with her as far as I could when I was young." She smiled fondly at the memory. She had forgotten her own name, but she remembered her horse's, always valuing it more than her own. "I considered her my best friend." She smiled and stared absent mindedly at the horse's hooves that pounded upon the soil.  
"I have always found that animals are easier to talk to than humans, or gods for that matter. They…"  
"They don't judge." Emma finished, halting her horse again so she could meet Regina's eyes.  
"I know what you mean. I am a princess, everything I say is judged by half the country and could bankrupt my kingdom." She rolled her eyes and Regina chuckled, more at ease in the company of the girl than with anyone else.

"Makes you wary in trusting anyone anymore." Regina said gloomily, absent mindedly twisting the silver ring around her finger.  
"I trust you." Emma said with a shrug, shyly meeting Regina's eyes from under blonde locks. She nervously grasped the reins and Samson snorted in annoyance, pulling the reins back from her hands slightly. Regina gasped at her admission, trying to understand the foreign feeling that filled her blackened heart the words. She couldn't form a reply, so she settled for the only thing that she knew.  
"I don't count." The goddess said flatly, avoiding the princesses face. "I can't talk to anyone but you, so I don't count." She closed her eyes and balled her fists, allowing herself to let go for a second, allowing herself to be submerged into the murky abyss of what was left of her memories: her mother never valuing her, her father not daring to stand up to her mother, her teachers complaining she wasn't devoted enough and finally her husband; loving a dead woman more than he loved her.

She felt the presence of the princess near her. Felt the warmth of her breath on her cold skin, felt she warmth radiating from her hands as they reached to her own.  
"You do count." Emma whispered with more devotion she had never heard anyone speak to her. She slowly opened her eyes and felt tears brimming in her eyes. Emma's breath on her was the first warmth she had felt in centuries, the closest thing to a touch she had felt in an eternity. She wanted more, suddenly feeling the chill in her entire being, she wanted to touch Emma. The princess reached out to her, nearly grasping her hands. Regina wanted to hold them, but she couldn't. Just in time she stepped away from the warmth, from the touch, from Emma.  
"Thank you." She murmured, the overwhelming urge to feel warmth, to feel loved, to feel _anything_ overwhelming her entire being. Her heart longed to beat again, to be filled with something that had been ripped away from her years ago.  
"I trust you too." She finally admitted, lifting her head up to look into the princesses eyes. Emma stepped towards her again, reaching out to touch her again. Regina stepped away from her again and watched confusion and hurt fill the girl's eyes. "But you shouldn't trust me, Emma. I'm dangerous." She swallowed thickly, stepping further away from the girl, afraid she would break this spell between them and touch her. "I'm the goddess of death, Emma. I will kill you."  
"I already said I don't believe that." Emma murmured, searching Regina's eyes for understanding, for permission. She found neither. She longed to stretch out her hands and touch the woman, just to hold her and take away the cold that radiated from the woman, but Regina had already made clear that she wasn't allowed to do that. She wasn't allowed to touch her.

"Emma, you don't understand." Regina's voice broke, her words coming out in something between a whisper and a scream. She balled her fists, backing away further from the princess with every second. "I will not be responsible for your death." She told her on a shaky voice, firmly shaking her head as if to shake off the urge to touch the princess.  
"Why would you be responsible for my dea-"  
"Because your mother is right! Everything I touch dies!" Regina finally screamed at her, startling Emma's horse, causing it to rear and neigh in panic. The wind between them falls still and turns chilly at the same time at Regina's admission. "I have had to live through that once already, and I won't do that to myself again." Tears were as present in her eyes as they were in her voice, breaking it down until it was barely a shaky whisper. "I won't do that to you."

"Regina, what happened?" Emma asked, stepping towards the woman again at a fast pace, quickly nearing the woman. Regina flinched at the princess stalking towards her and suddenly Emma was thrown back upon the ground with enormous force.  
"It doesn't matter." Regina said, her voice still sounding shaky behind her firm tone. Emma scrambled to get up, but before she could a dark smoke appeared at Regina's feet, slowly enveloping her.

"Regina!" Emma screamed, not willing to let to woman go yet.

"I'm not Regina." The goddess told her on a firm voice, tears still brimming in her eyes.  
"I am the Goddess of Death; the Evil Queen. Perhaps you should remember that once in a while."

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**A chapter focussed on Regina & Emma interaction, with a sad ending (sorry!). I am quite happy with this one, so please review? **


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry about the wait. Here's a long chapter for y****'all.  
**

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Regina continued to haunt Emma's thoughts at every turn, especially the sight of her own reflection made the blonde think back to when she had first met the tantalizing woman, how she had reflected in her own mirror, looking more regal and imposing than she ever would. The woman that had entered and left her life in the space of just a few days. In the small moments the princess had spent with the queen, she had felt a pull towards the woman she hadn't experienced with anyone earlier; it wasn't so much a feeling that made her giggly or made her stomach flutter with excitement, it was something about the intriguing goddess that was ever out of reach, that made Emma long to be near her. She stared at the mirror, vaguely registering her mother fussing around her about how gorgeous she looked in yet another dress. She hated dress fittings, but her thoughts were too consumed by the matters of the immortal, that things like dress fittings seemed terribly unimportant.

"Are you all right Emma?" Snow inquired, lifting up her daughter's dress a little and motioning for Johanna to hand her some pins, all the while peeking past Emma into the mirror to catch her daughter's eyes.  
"Yeah, I just hate dress fittings." Emma answered absent mindedly, wondering how she would look in an imposing black dress like the one that Regina wore.  
"Yes." Snow said slowly, lowering the dress by a few inches again, apparently deciding the short length to be too 'provocative' or whatever word she would use about anything that Emma would consider even mildly interesting. "But you usually hate them with more vigor."  
"Just thinking." Emma mumbled, frowning at the strange bulge of the fabric forming around her midsection that she only now noticed. Her shifting and pulling on the dress earned her a gentle tap from Snow on her hand, but her face was empathetic.  
"Is it about your father? I know you would love to have him attend the ball, so do I. He would be so proud of you." She abandoned the dress to brush her hands over her daughter's pale arms. "You know what they call the ball on your eighteenth birthday? True love's ball. Of course there's no pressure but …"  
"Mom." Emma snapped at her. "Don't change the subject." She added in a softer voice, earning herself another sad smile from her mother and a slight combing through blonde hair with her mother's fingers.  
"Sorry, it's hard on me too. Do you want to talk about it?"  
"It's just." Emma started with slight hesitance, biting her lip and worrying it for a moment before deciding to take the plunge. She had to know the truth and part of her knew that there was only so much Regina would tell her. Besides; she had a lot of questions to ask her mother.  
"How did you meet him… My dad?"

Snow flinched almost unperceivably, and if Emma had been young and innocent she wouldn't have seen it. Now she did. Snow immediately reciprocated by combing her fingers through Emma's hair again as if she was a young girl and smiling. "Haven't I told you that story? I met him on a journey, we had to part, but our love was strong enough and we found each other. As we always will." She smiled wistfully, a hope that her prince would one day wake up and find her again still smoldering deep in her soul.  
"Yeah I know that part, but I mean before. Why were you on that journey, why did you have to part with him and why could you be with him later all of the sudden?" The story that Snow told was no longer enough for Emma; it was a fairytale, a beautiful story that the little girl in her still wanted to believe, a story that didn't need a plot because it had its meaning. The story had lost its meaning to Emma when the hero of the story died, now she wanted a plot. She wanted answers.

Snow sighed, taking a small step back from her daughter and taking in the determined look on the girls face. The defiant glint in her green eyes reminded her so much of her prince's that it nearly brought tears to her eyes. She truly looked so much like her father at times. At times like this Snow hoped that perhaps she was able to understand her own daughter as she had understood her father.  
"Regina told you something didn't she." Snow concluded slowly. Emma nodded in response, staring back at her mother demanding answers.

"I need you to know. The story I told you is true, all of it. There's just something I didn't tell you."  
"Like you used to be a goddess." After the words had been spoken, silence fell over the room. A silence that turned the air thicker than the presence of Regina between them had. Snow shuffled around on her feet, but Emma held her ground, not moving an inch, waiting for an answer.

"Yes. I used to be. But I gave it up." Snow finally answered her daughter.  
"Why?"  
Snow smiled at her daughter, stepping towards the girl again and taking her hand. "I need to tell you the whole story for that." She said on a gentle whisper, taking the girl towards her bed and sitting on it. The unicorns danced and turned slowly above their heads.

"My father was the god of life, he created the world and everything in it. He created the humans. He had passed away and left the task of life to me. It made me weary at times, watching over an entire world. I was still young, just a few years older than you are now. So I started longing for the world below me. I set out on long journeys to look at my father's work, his touch was everywhere and it made me feel at home. People believed in the goddess of life, but never recognized me walking between them as one of them. It was magical, Emma, being away from that life, that responsibility, that burden. It's on one of these journeys that I met your father. He didn't recognize what I was, but he still cared for me and helped me without asking for anything. That was new for me, something I didn't know. I can't explain what it was Emma, but you know that feeling when you meet someone, and you know they're not right for you and you're still drawn to them? That is what I felt for your father."  
"So you fell in love with him." Emma concluded. Snow smiled and shook her head softly.  
"Oh no, that came later. I was hesitant to love at first, but I couldn't let go of him. So mostly I just watched him. It was only when he had a run in with a boar and nearly got killed that I realized the depth of my feelings for him." She smiled, the memory still fresh in her mind. She had thrown herself in front of the boar to protect the young man she had become enthralled with, making the wild animal turn around like a meekly sheep. "I had to explain what I was afterwards, and also the reason I had been 'stalking' him." She chuckled at the fond memory and absent mindedly started waving her fingers through Emma's hair again. "He was such a great man Emma, there's not a day I don't feel sorry about what happened to him, especially for you, oh Emma..."

"Why did it happen? You used to be a god, but you abandoned that to be with him, right?" Emma mused, drawing from the memory of what Regina had told her and her own reasoning. Snow smiled fondly and nodded, impressed with the intelligence of her only daughter. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to bear that burden. It doesn't matter who we used to be, Emma, it matters who we choose to be in the end."  
"But you chose to be human, and what happened to my father was the punishment for that?" Emma continued, trying to remember everything that Regina had told her before. Snow's smile dissipated as quickly as it had arisen and a frown formed on her face.  
"No." She slowly started, studying her daughter's face. "My punishment for leaving my duties as a goddess was my own mortality. And losing my immortality for love was a sacrifice I was happy to make."

Emma froze at her mother's answer, letting the words and meaning filter through her mind. Regina had told her why her father's fate was bestowed upon him, but her story was different from her mother's. Her mind understood the goddess had been lying, but her heart refused to believe.  
"But you left the gods, if what happened to my father isn't a punishment for that, then why did it happen to him?" She whispered, still somehow hoping that her mother would make sense of Regina's story. The goddess had been one of the few people Emma had allowed herself to trust and the feeling of the trust crumbling down weighed down heavily upon her heart. "You said it was Re- The goddess of death. " Emma added on a trembling note, speaking to her mother as well as her mother. Snow stepped towards her and wiped the tears that Emma hadn't even registered yet from her cheeks. She had once cared for the woman as had her daughter and the ruin of their relationship still rended her heart.  
"It was a punishment, but not for that and not by the gods. It was a punishment by her, for something that happened a long, long time ago." Snow explained on whisper, looking into her daughter's eyes and feeling her heart sink down at the heartbreak she saw glistening in there.  
"Why, why would she do this to you –to us?" Emma asked, barely holding her voice steady as she asked the question. "Why would she lie." The girl's voice broke on the question that was perhaps more prominent in her mind. She had felt a true connection to the woman, felt as if they could somehow understand each other when the rest of the world couldn't. Clearly she had been mistaken.  
"She blames me for ruining her life." Snow bit her lip at the admission and brought her trembling hands up to her daughters, enveloping the fragile fingers with her own. Emma looked down at her own hands in her mother's and felt her resolve breaking, tears slowly streaming down her face. At the first sight of them Snow drew her daughter into a hug, holding her close to her and gently shaking her. "I'm so sorry Emma. I'm sorry for not telling you, I'm sorry about your father and I'm sorry she lied to you. I'm so sorry."

Emma allowed herself to be held and didn't bother to stop the tears. She barely heard her mother's words, her mind reeling on just one question: what had driven the wonderful, woeful goddess she had seen to hate someone so much as to take away their true love for eternity. Perhaps her mother would be able to answer the question, but she wanted to hear the truth from the one woman that had lied to her about it before: she wanted to hear it from Regina.

* * *

She was dressed in sturdy pants and a leather vest, a blood red cape hanging from her shoulders and her hands wrapped in linen. It were clothes she usually wore on the rare occasions that her mother allowed her to train with the militia swordsmen. She held the slim, elegant blade in her hand and tried to stop it from trembling as she walked towards the window, gazing out into the night sky.  
"Show yourself!" She shouted into the darkness, forcing herself to believe in the woman that had betrayed the same trust that had brought her to her in the first place. Her voice echoed from the castle through the night sky, but Regina didn't show.  
"Show yourself or I … will jump of this tower! You said you didn't want to be responsible for my death! Well you will if you don't show, because I …" Her breath faltered as she gazed down from the window. She had no intention of really jumping from the tower, but it was the only way she could think of to get the woman to notice her, because Emma knew that the goddess cared for her. She had seen it in the desperation the woman had pulled away from her. It wasn't a lie, Emma thought, she didn't want it to be a lie.

She appeared without a word, Emma barely caught a glimpse of her in the mirror as she stood on the other end of the room. When the princess turned towards her, the goddess still didn't speak a word.  
"Tell me." Emma finally spat, keeping the blade focused on the woman. A small voice in her head told her that threatening and immortal goddess with a sword probably wasn't very useful, let alone smart, but she ignored it; it was all she could do not to crumble in a pathetic heap at the sight of the goddess. "Tell me why!"  
"Why what?" Regina asked, her voice flat and toneless as she took in the blade. The sword didn't intimidate her; it couldn't hurt her and she wouldn't have cared if it could either. The sight of the girl pointing the sword at her hurt infinitely more than a thousand cuts by the steel blade ever would.  
"Why did you curse my father? What did my mother do you lie? Why did you lie to me?!" Emma felt her resolve break at the questions, but held her ground as she kept pointing the sword at the goddess. Her hands trembled with anger, fear and heartbreak, her mind cloudy from the emotions flying through it, consuming her thoughts.  
"Tell me!" Emma stepped closer to the goddess when she didn't answer, edging the sword near the woman's neck.

Regina could easily have batted the sword away and turned it to dust, she could have send Emma flying back through the room and disappeared forever, but she didn't. Instead she sought she girl's eyes as she answered her. She confessed her sins in the green eyes of a broken hearted princess.  
"In the time I was a mortal I loved someone. His name was Daniel and he was a stable boy. He was my first and only love. We were young and foolish and I had never been happier. I got to be with him for almost a year before I was called into the heavens." She swallowed thickly at the memory of the day that everything had been ripped from her. It was the only day she could remember every little detail from, it was the day she had lost herself. "I didn't want to, but he had fallen in love with me, so my love didn't matter, didn't count. I married the god of life and thus became the goddess of death. I didn't lie to you about that." She saw the princess lowering her sword, but didn't react to it, closing her eyes and forcing herself to tell the rest of the story. Her voice toneless, but with a slight tremble. "I created death and granted the gods the gift of immortality. I didn't grant it to him and then one night, I killed him. I thought without him I would be free. But I wasn't." She remembered the look on her husband's face as he perished from the death she herself had created. She remembered Snow's cries, confused about what was happening to her father. She remembered the guilt she felt the first time she brought death, her innocent soul still unscathed. "I had always wanted to go back to being human, but when I stood there, watching death and destruction below me, I couldn't do it. I was too scared to return and face all of that. It is one of my greatest regrets." She screwed her eyes closed to stop tears from emerging at the painful memory, self-hatred burning inside her throat.  
"I didn't belong in the heavens, yet I forced myself to live there and rule. I often went back to earth to Daniel. He didn't know I was a goddess, so he couldn't see me. It didn't matter to me, just being near him offered me solace and comfort in my lonesome world. Part of me didn't want him to see me, didn't want him to see what I had become. It went well for a long time, helped keep me sane, helped me remember who I used to be rather than what I had become. Until … until I lost him." Tears brimmed in her eyes and she was no longer able to hold her tone steady; her voice breaking at the words. "I lost him."  
"How?" Emma asked on a single breath. Stepping closer to the woman, nearly close enough to touch her.  
"Snow. She found out about me and Daniel, about my past. And she-." Regina swallowed at the memory, forcing herself to look into Emma's eyes. "She told Daniel about me, that I was still alive and about what I had become. So the next time I went to him, he could see me."  
"Isn't that good?" Emma asked slowly, not understanding why this particular memory caused the goddess to tremble.

"No it's not, because … Because when he saw me, he ran towards me to hold me, kiss me, I don't even know because the moment he touched me –" She stepped away from the princess and turned around, not willing the girl to see the weakness that was growing in her eyes.  
"The moment he touched me he died." She could hardly hold back the sob that rose up in her chest at the ancient, yet still fresh memory. "I held him, I kissed him, I begged the god I had despised and killed to return him to me, but he was gone. I wasn't strong enough to control the death I had bestowed upon him with only a touch." She slowly turned around, avoiding the emotions that she would find in Emma's eyes. She couldn't handle them.  
"After that darkness and anger just took over. Snow had to pay for what she did and that is why I cursed your father; because there is no greater curse than being without the person you love."  
"Regina, I'm sorry." Mumbled, not sure how to respond to the story the goddess had told her. She had prepared herself to be angry, but all she felt was everything she had once believed falling apart. Regina didn't answer and Emma hesitantly took a step towards her, getting as close to the woman as possible without touching her. "But hasn't this gone on long enough? Hasn't my mother been punished enough?"  
"No." Regina answered flatly, backing away from the princess and striding past her. She stopped only when she reached the window, gazing out over the hundreds of flowers her former step-daughter had planted there over the years. "She will suffer for eternity, as will I."  
"Would you do that to her? To me?!" Emma asked, not moving from her spot at the opposite end of the room. Her voice was soft, but every word of it still reached Regina's ears. The goddess flinched slightly, turning around slowly, her gaze resting upon the necklace around Emma's neck. The ring that had once stood for hope and love, now hanging around the neck of the daughter of her greatest enemy. The sight of it hardened her soul, reminded her of who she had become.  
"Yes, Emma. I'm sorry, but this is what she deserves. Even …" Her voice trembled, hesitated for a second. "Even if it means your suffering."

The sword dropped to the floor as Emma couldn't muster the strength any longer to keep it in her hand. The goddess was staring at her, her black eyes unforgiving, but her hands trembling as much as her own. "I thought we were friends. I thought we-"  
"I don't have friends." Regina cut her off, balling her fists and forcing herself to keep looking at the princess. Emma flinched and stepped away from the woman until her back was pressed against the wall of the tower. "I'm the goddess of death, and that is never going to change."

Regina felt her legs grow heavy underneath her at her own words; felt her arms start to tremble and the breath being forcibly slammed from her lungs. When she lifted her hands to disappear from the room, she saw it turning to a thin, purple smoke in front of her eyes. She knew what was happening, it had happened once before, but it hurt much more this time. It hurt her in places she wasn't aware she could still feel anything after all those years, it hurt her more than had ever imagined it would.  
"What do you think you're doing?!" Emma screeched, her voice a combination between anger and fear.  
Regina gave her sad smile, feeling the smoke creep up towards her dark, stilled heart. Feeling it slowly take over the breath of life in her, draining away the magic that sustained her being. Breathing hurt, but she still forced out the words.  
"I'm dying."

"You're immortal, you can't die!" There was a strange sort of desperation in Emma's voice, almost a pledge for Regina not to leave her. Regina shook her head at the words and watched as the smoke slowly enveloped her limbs.  
"It's the closest we gods come to dying. We exist on faith, when there is no one left to believe in us, we disappear into an eternal sleep. You've lost faith in me Emma, and that's okay. I will go to sleep now." She closed her eyes, tilting back her head to allow the smoke to overcome her, to take her away from the mortal world. "I will awaken when someone finds faith in me again, when someone needs me." She sighed, feeling the cold smoke creeping up towards her mouth. "Goodbye Emma."

"But I need you!" Emma screamed to the woman in desperation, stepping towards her in a desperate attempt to get to woman to stay. She kept repeating the words in her head, like a mantra, a prayer, but the smoke kept swallowing up Regina. Emma kicked away the sword in frustration, trying desperately to get herself to believe in the woman that had lied to her, that had refused to help her. She couldn't. "I believe!"

Regina gave her a sad smile. "No, you don't."

She didn't speak another world before the smoke swallowed her, leaving the princess alone in the room without hope, friendship or love.

Again.

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**Oops I depressed myself with this one. Please R&R?**


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